I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
