Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
