I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
