you guys were way drunker than both of me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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