you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
