I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
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