Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
