I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
