is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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