Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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