lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Terrible idea I love it
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
