I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Pants are for mortals
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
