He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
