i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Randomize
