im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
