so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
