Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
