You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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