my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
