he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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