I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
