I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
