you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
