There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did we literally take a cab across the street
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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