How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
