I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
