Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i dont even know how to be here
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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