so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
