he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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