Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
