She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
