Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
