If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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