Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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