Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize
