her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
