and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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