Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
