Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
