I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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