We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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