I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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