hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
