He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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