i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
