Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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