actually, I'm a sock model
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
