party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
