and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
