I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It's rum buckets o'clock
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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