I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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