I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
