One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
