I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drake has all the answers
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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