I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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