Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize